The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
