its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
