Your dad touched me again.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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