This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize