I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize