should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
