K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
