Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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