this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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