I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
