I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
