She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Blood and glitter go together right?
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I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
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He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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