so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
