3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
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