Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
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were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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