Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
