Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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