I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
