just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
