If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
