i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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