I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I came so hard my ears popped.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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