ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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