I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
