wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Randomize
