I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I party with great urgency now.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
