Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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