I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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