where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
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