Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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