Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
