I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
