i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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