nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?