No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run