I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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