I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
