i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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