Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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