So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
