About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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