And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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