i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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