I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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