that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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