We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
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I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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