An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
