Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize