i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
