my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
