I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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