she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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