just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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