If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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