I think I just saw someone hide a body.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
