I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
