i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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