Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
