if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
