Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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