I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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