its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
