last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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